not your fly on the wall (GB, 4/17/00):

     FALL OF ‘97

     WB- 30 years.

     DF- Yep, happy anniversary.

     DF&WB (toast the beverage of their choice) Cheers!

     WB- So how are we going to top Aja or Gaucho?

     DF- Dunno. Maybe we shouldn’t try. Just get in there and do something totally different.

     WB- Maybe we need a gimmick.

     DF- They’ve all been done - nothing shocks anymore.

     WB- Anything goes, I guess we covered most of those areas anyway: patricide, drug abuse, ODs, prostitution, political
     powershifts, blah, blah, blah...

     DF- We could put F*** or some other equally offensive vulgarity in the title - but then we just look like we’re lifting
     from the rappers.

     WB- There must be something out there - something taboo something that repulses enough to shock and yet fascinates
     the masses enough to listen and buy out album.

     DF- Something that will get ink and air. [pause] Necrophilia?!

     WB- [slowly tilting his head sideways as if contemplating it] Too creepy. Besides I thought we came close to that with
     the cover art from AIA.

     DF- Oh yeah.

     WB- Incest!

     DF- Yes, but not too close - make it cousins - otherwise it’s ...

     WB- too sinister.

     DF- kissing cousins.

     WB- good.

     DF- Okay, I’m inspired let’s get to work.

     WB&DF exit the room and head off to work...

     Donald: Well, that's the end of the tape.

     Walter: Well, that certainly was time well-spent. That tip the attourney's representing the Dixie Chicks provided may
     save us a bundle of fees and hassle...

     Donald: Except that the "Earl" song is a hit and ours isn't...and bad press = good press, eh?

     Walter: Yeah, how about those wrinkled characitures above the "Back in the Low Life" blurb in the latest Rolling Stone?
     Didn't I warn you about naming the album from a decadent French novel which became the inspiration of Dorian Gray?

     Donald: I figured the "right wing hooey" line covered our asses. Did we go too far? and does anybody care if we did?

     Walter: What about us as the two last soldiers of the USSR on the Offical Dan Page?

     Donald: That's funny...

     Walter: 45 million innocent people were slaughtered in the 20th Century by Communist Regimes around the globe...

     Donald: That's NOT funny...but at least those dictators weren't Republicans... Hey and what about our ditties on
     gambling, drugs, gunfire, Nazis, murder, mental illness, incest, more drugs, statuatory rape, Voodoo, dictatorial coups
     even more drugs, safe sex before it was fashionable, low-life Hollywood types and the people who feed off them...

     Walter: But they were desgined to enlighten and entertain our constituents...

     Donald: But the tape! That doesn't matter! We could offend the people... the ends...the means... Gee, I feel a little down.
     Look at that Cuban boy on the tube - shouldn't we respect his mother's dying wish? They're gonna take his freakin' milk
     away next year...and listen to our President and our party - I thought the Republicans had pummeled the phrase "rule of
     law" to death a year ago - isn't this the jurisdiction of a state family court...look he wants to stay... Ya know I wrote a
     song about Castro once - a baseball analogy...

     Walter: Do tell...I saw a flyball get lost in his beard during the Orioles game.

     Donald: Hey shouldn't we lower ticket prices?

     Walter: Hell, no! We've been sensitized, but we're not idiots! You're sounding like your Dad. Could you switch to
     Springer or Green Acres?

     Donald: Nah, I'm heading to the library to find a decadent Bavarian novel.

     Walter: There aren't any - just pastry recipes...